Un pèlerinage pour Mardi (A pilgrimage for Tuesday)

Or has it been for the whole trip? Je ne said pas (I don't know), but it feels like it has been as I've visited so many churches. Tuesday I visited L'Église Saint-Séverin, which is known for its gothic architecture and beautiful stained-glass. A couple days ago I came across a free guide for churches in Paris. As soon as I had my hands on this, my heart soared and I knew my church visiting would increase exponentially. Everything is there: Christ in a very concrete way, beauty, peace, rest. It's the one place I can always go to and feel at home.

While there I came across a program put on through the church called Elle et Lui (She and Him). This is the first church I've come across with this program for couples, which I heard a little about but still do not know that much. From what I've heard it's a good program, and it helps strengthen couples through the teachings of the Church. It would be good to connect with the parish office about this program, as I haven't seen it promoted in many churches. Aside from it's beautiful windows, this church definitely stands out.

I must have sat for 30-minutes just admiring this painting. There was no way of knowing who painted this, but I just appreciate it so much. To see Jesus dead and his body being cared for and ministered to, even as he was dead. I think I was most struck by the angel in maroon, off to the left who is crying as the other two are ministering to Jesus. It's beautiful because most of the time when we see paintings of the angles, they're all rejoicing. But in this painting, there's both the heavenly and profound sadness. I've never seen the angels depicted like this before, but what a concept to think that even the angels grieved.


Across the street was L'Église Saint-Julien-le-Pauvre, which is a parish for Melkite Greek Catholics. It is 1 of the 3 oldest churches in Paris, very intimate, and still holds Masses.

I also visited the exterior of L'Église Notre Dame. It is good to see that the renovation is finally over. I remember when I first was at this church, the towers were black with age and dirt, and it was undergoing massive renovation inside and out. Now seeing the church, it's quite a scene as its towers have been restored back to their original ivory and how dramatic it stands, as it is directly next to la Seine.


This was my favorite sign in the store that was less than hospitable; I think it's kind of hilarious.


I walked past Place St. Michel and eventually found myself on one of the oldest streets in Paris called Rue Mouffetard. I feel like this street is perfect for a film of some sort. It just has that ambiance as you're walking through the local shops and narrow, curvy road where you kind of feel transported back to a different time period. Indeed, it's definitely got new shops since over the years its become more touristy, but there's still a lot of the local feel here. I prayed vespers in L'Église Saint-Médard but was very frustrated with something that had happened in the church. I wanted to tell someone but there was no one around. The situation just made me sad.

Wandering up the Rue Mouffetard, in such a tiny area, there were so many restaurants. Normally, I'm used to driving from one neighborhood to the next to find the type of food I want. But in Paris, the standard and appreciation for food is so high here. It's a wonderful city to visit if you love food because you have a variety of food options within 1 block. It's a very authentic food culture where even the waitservice supports that culture -- in other words, your waiter is never going to rush you even if you sit for 4 hours with a tiny espresso cup because it's just understood that good food and drink should be enjoyed and that it takes time. Gotta love that. My favorite food is Tibetan, and I found one on this street, next to an Italian restaurant, next to a French traditional restaurant, next to Lebanese, Chinese, and pubs.

Mass was held at the beautiful L'Église Etienne du Mont; and afterwards, I found a famous pâtisserie called Dalloyau next to le Jardin du Luxembourg. My dessert was a rasberry macaron layered with vanilla and crème and filled with raspberry ganache inside.

Surf Work Eat Play ... Can we add Pray?

I feel like this is a pretty sufficient way of describing how my trip is going! But with one exception, I would like to add the word 'pray.' If I could add a Christian smiley face to the sign, it would look like this +:o)

My colocatrice (female flatmate), Emilie, has called this trip a holiday; the penance I received in my last confession prior to this trip I was told to enjoy and play and have fun (I will try to go back to that priest again!); the chef at a French restaurant told me to eat as much pastries as possible; my spiritual director had recommended to pray about certain areas while I'm here, and I'm visiting a lot of churches more than I realized I would; while my American tendency is to work and surf.

I definitely feel things are being balanced, or maybe a better way to describe this is that 6 birds are being killed (or at least trying to be) with 1 stone. Exploring and investigating the pâtisserie scene here has been delicious and fun, especially because I enjoy baking and the artistry behind the French pastry. Rest and tourist-mode are an interesting combination. The tourist-mode can keep us from resting because we want to see everything all in one week ... or we have to do or see this when by the time you reach home, you're exhausted and a vacation from the vacation is in need. Being here for longer than usual, however, has allowed me to take my time and to enjoy the museums, gardens, churches, desserts, and neighborhoods that any other time with different circumstances, I might whiz past by. I love where I stay in a quiet part of Grenelle, where when it rains, I can just open up my windows and just write and read in my room. Trying to organize the groundwork for possible workshops or sessions for next year, I also really love. And while some would say that's crazy because I'm in Paris; if you see Christ in your vocation; it is easy to love and to even embrace the difficulties when they come. The project is no exception. Practicing my french is improving, not great ... but not bad either.

Turns out, my flatmate's best friend has an acquaintance he met through mutual friends. This acquaintance's name is Hisashi, and I reached out to him through Facebook. Hisashi left Japan about three years ago to learn how to make pâtisseries; so when I found out he worked in a pâtisserie, I contacted him to see if we could meet and talk about pastries and if he had any tips he could offer an aspiring pâtissier (pastry chef). I am grateful for the tips he gave and the conversation on ingredients, recipes, and motivation.

We spent the day going to a store that sold cooking utensils for professionals, visited the best boulangerie et pâtisserie in the Marais in my guide's eyes, and looked at quality ingredients for pâtisseries at a specialty store.

This may have been one of my favorite days because a wealth of knowledge was just being given, and he had recommended books from those who had helped him learn how to make pâtisseries. Thank you, Hisashi!

I walked home with la Tour Eiffel greeting me: Monday was a good day!

Les Églises et des Pâtisseries

Saturday morning I visited L'Église Trinité and offered a candle to a saint I've never prayed for intercession to: Saint Jeanne d'Arc (St. Joan of Arc). I realized looking at her statue that she seriously had a rough ride, but wow, what perseverance and faith! A peasant girl ... who led the French army through various military victories ... young ... and then martyred. I'm surprised that we don't really talk much about her in the States and her heroism for the Church. It's good to belong to a faith that celebrates women, young women, and even the very young (I'm thinking of the courageous St. Maria Goretti). How wonderful it is to belong to a Church that celebrates the beauty of women, their faith, and their contributions to the Church, family, children, and society. Not everyone thinks this way, but I find that those who have the sharpest critique are voices outside the faith.

Having visited so many churches so far and to see Catholic women honored through statues, stained-glass, and paintings to remember their contributions clearly demonstrates how the Church upholds women. Our Church has never waivered in defending the dignity of woman, found even in the unlikely, armored 19-year old, peasant girl: Saint Jeanne d'Arc.

I am excited about the future of the Church and how the Church and its members will respond as more questions arise related to sex and gender, particularly gender-based areas of violence (namely prostitution, sex trafficking, domestic abuse/sexual violence, etc.). The Church has a lot to say in a way that speaks with reason and joy if we are open to listening. I say "gender-based" because while all areas of violence happen to both women and men (girls and boys), the statistics reveal that there are areas of violence with a higher percentage of female victims/survivors than male victims/survivors. Healing is needed across the board for both female and male; this is obvious. This is also how our apostolate intends on serving. But what can be objectively stated is that gender-based abuse and violence is also a reality. To some people that seems pretty obvious, but there is still a belief that gender-based violence isn't possible. The numbers say otherwise. When I return from this trip, I will post statistics I've been gathering to demonstrate this point. But for now ... back to being a tourist and pastries! :)

So, after my reflection on Saint Jeanne d'Arc, I decided to tour L'Opera Garnier (Garnier Opera House), which is the setting for the musical, Phantom of the Opera. I kept humming the music the entire time I was there and kept seeing the scenes in my mind; it was great fun! Everything is very detail-oriented and embellished, which I loved. The ceiling of the opera house pictured here has a painting by Marc Chagall.

My favorite room was the lounge area and also the most difficult to take a photo in ... but was it worth it! I spent most of the afternoon just admiring the marble, mosaics, gold, which were lovely.


After L'Opera I walked about the Galeries Lafayette shopping area, which basically made me clam up ... it was so busy! I eventually found myself by L'Église Madeline, which I actually passed by twice. Given its history, I'm not surprised I didn't see it (even though it's massive) because it looks more like a government building than a church. The flowers in the front give it a soft touch. They are doing massive renovating, which makes it difficult to see how beautiful the church really is behind the stern-looking façade. It's hard to see, but there's actually a sea-green and coral-colored marble with gold lines in between the columns. The altar I think is pretty impressive, as I've never seen marble carved in this way and placed at the altar.

Behind the church is Fauchon, which is a pâtisserie known for their desserts: des tartes, les entremets, des eclaires, des macarons, and les petits gâteaux (little cakes). Fauchon is definitely cutting-edge when it comes to pâtisseries, and it was only until I tasted the pastries of this line that I realized there was a difference between some of the pastries that had made up the past week and Fauchon, which was really in a category of its own.




I purchased an eclaire that had a pudding-like mousse filling. The quality of the chocolate in the pudding was very good quality and the dark chocolate painted across the dough was probably anywhere between 60% and 75%, so delicious and good quality! There were also chocolate crisps covered with edible gold. The macarons I chose for myself were strawbery and rose; each actually tasted as either a strawberry or a rose. The rose macaron may be my favorite pâtisserie more impressive to me than the merveilleux because when I bit into the macaron I could smell the subtle fragrance of roses and it TASTED like what a red rose might taste like. The way this very tiny dessert engaged my senses was subtle and spoke to the sophisticated technique clearly used in their making of pâtisseries.

Sunday I went to la Chapelle Médaille Miraculeuse and discovered I was attending a liturgy celebrated with the African community. The music was an African language (I don't know which one); there was beautiful harmonizing, African drums, and hands in the air; and I think I must have been in the dancing section! Because the African women were all about the liturgy, and I just had to step back and appreciate how expressive this liturgical celebration was. I'm not sure I've ever experienced the liturgy this way before, but what a way to celebrate our Lord - praised be Jesus Christ!


Afterwards, I walked through a market and decided to buy vegetables. I haven't really been eating anything but pâtisseries and baguettes and have had this huge craving for anything meat, fruit, and vegetables.

On my way to finding a park, I had a pleasant exchange that fragranted my whole day -- quite literally! I gave some of the peaches I had just bought to a woman and she gave me lavender. I've never received these flowers before, but they were so aromatic my bag was filled with their fragrance the whole day (and then my flat once I got home).

After spending some time in the park, I decided to try to go to le Musée Rodin (Rodin Museum); but by the time I arrived, I was so hungry I just ended up looking for a restaurant. As I was looking and getting frustrated because everything was closed, I ran into the SAME woman who had told me where the Pierre Hermé shop was. Just seeing her reminded me of macaroons (since she had helped me find them ...) and then I was happy again. A couple blocks later I enjoyed an Affligem Bière Blonde. Das ist gut, ja?

I set out to find le Jardin du Luxembourg, but I kept getting lost despite being in le Quartier Latin/La Sorbonne, literally in the same area. Walking around le Panthéon, I came across an even better 'jardin,' or L'Église Etienne du Mont. When I walked in, the church had some type of suspended marble work above the altar from which the Holy Crucifix was placed. The organ system behind the congregation was massive. And as I walked around the back of the church, the stained glass was very detailed.

In the picture provided below, the light on the right hand side is a reflection from the light coming from windows hitting the white marble ... and that is all :)


The last place I visited to wrap up the day of walking (le Jardin du Luxembourg was closed by the time I got there) ... and yes, I feel a little guilty that I went here but I did ... was McDo's. I had a craving and needed free internet ...


And for dessert I had a pâtisserie called la Truffe Noire (the dark truffle). I don't exactly know they did it, but it was a layered with fudge, brownie, and truffle. The amazing part of this dessert was that it was not so sweet and not rich; it was very delicious and topped with a truffle dusted in chocolate powder. Now I know why the entire pâtisserie is called la Truffe Noire. This was their best pastry.

Exploring Paris

After going through different arrondissements, I have finally found my café: Café du Mogador. It’s not an over-the-top, tourist trap. No one famous has been here. It’s just a normal café and brasserie located in front of L’Église Trinité (Trinity Church) in the 9ème arrondissement and the locals come here. It’s perfect because I can come here after Mass to just write and read and it’s on the same métro I need to get home. People are here to just drink coffee, have an apéritif (cocktail), eat, have a pâtisserie, sandwhich, or a meal alone or with other people. More importantly, the menu fits all types of budgets, which is why I am here! And it’s right in the center; so it’s bustling but I still have my own space. Je l’adore (I love it)!

On Tuesday, I decided one of my priorities was to buy a French Magnificat. My French is slowly improving but hearing Mass is difficult since I am new to the liturgy in French. I was told by someone at Saint Lambert’s that I could buy a French Magnificat at a Catholic bookstore called La Procure near Saint Suplice Church.

En route to the bookstore, I stopped into this beautiful shop called L’Art Liturgique (Liturgical Art). What a treat to see these intricately painted icons of the Virgin Mother and Child, saints, and the Transfiguration. This place also has the most beautiful rosaries I've ever seen ...


Turning the corner, I found La Procure. I hate going to religious bookstores because I rarely leave without buying something – even if it’s chocolate made by the Monks. I wasn’t expecting it to be so HUGE, but the bookstore was enormous. There was a children’s book section; something for students of theology/Bible studies/liturgy; a section for religious movies and music; a section on saints, the sacraments, catechism; mainstream books but still Catholic-friendly; French poetry; and dictionaries (although none of them had any of the liturgical language I was looking for, which is strange because it’s a religious bookstore with a liturgy section, but whatever…). Overall, I was impressed; so impressed, that I stayed about 4 hours just going through the books. Yes, a bookstore can sometimes be one of my Achilles heel, and I ended up leaving with more than just my French Magnificat.

My appreciation for gardens has its roots from le Jardin du Luxembourg (Luxembourg Garden), which is the first garden I experienced in Paris years ago. Depending on the garden, it’s either super busy and popular with the tourists AND parisiennes, or it’s modest and quiet. I have yet to find one that’s in between. There is a garden I frequent by my parisienne parish (yes, it’s adopted me…), Saint-Lambert de Vaugirard, called le Jardin de Saint-Lambert (St. Lambert’s Garden). This garden is particularly quiet and peaceful, which I enjoy.

Afterwards, I practiced some French by the Saint Suplice fountain and set out to find Pierre Hermé – a pâtisserie famous for their macarons (macaroons). I prayed asking for help to be guided, as I used a guidebook for the 6ème arrondissement. It’s a pretty chic area in general but particularly a good locale if you’re looking for desserts and chocolatiers (shops specifically for chocolate). The first street I turned towards, I immediately saw Minelli’s – a Spanish-line of fabulous leather shoes for women – and had this thought that I should go there. I told myself 'NO' because I was here for desserts not for shoes, so I walked in another direction. Super for discipline! Or was it?

There is definitely no shortage of pastries in Paris; but during the months of July – August, most parisiennes are on holiday. Their businesses, including pâtisseries, are closed. I had this heads up before leaving, but weaving through the 6ème arrondissement with each pâtisserie closed and not being able to find Pierre Hermé, I was becoming frustrated and annoyed. None of the places that were recommended in the book were open and what I had planned for the day was not happening, so I decided to just ditch my plans to follow the book and allow my prayer said earlier to guide the way instead of the guidebook.

I ended up seeing more than planned, passing different shops, boutiques, restaurants, and was able to taste pâtisseries from stores I had not even heard of that were delicious – indeed, this was fun! I could not find Pierre Hermé, and the Gérard Mulot location was closed. While wandering I came across Rollet-Pradier and tried my first bout of yummy macarons. My favorite was this yellow macaron with a caramel and butter ganache. The other flavors bought were mint, pistachio, and coquelicot (a type of flower, I think).

I attended Mass at Saint-Germaine-des-Près and was again impressed with how many people were present. Eventually, I wandered into another pâtisserie called Paul where I purchased a large pistachio macaron.


I passed a woman who was asking for money right outside Paul. For the first time as I passed this woman, the ‘why’ of baking incorporated into the project came to mind and would not leave me. One of the reasons to bake is to do something that can help support the project almost as a perpetual fundraiser AND that it be something that brings joy to souls. Sweets make the soul happy and baking can be relaxing - something that may be helpful given the issues the project will be addressing. When desserts are good, people stop and enjoy the goodness of the dessert for the time they are encountering its subtleness, creaminess, ganach-iness (I just made up this word!). And even though this is momentary happiness (and obviously, not the highest form of happiness), I'm not sure it's so wise to disconnect this deliciousness from God. I may not be baking at this point in Paris because I can’t find a place to volunteer; but I realized bringing joy to another was not something that had to wait for the project to have perfect circumstances or for the project to be in full operation. How lovely would that be to share joy, even if momentary, with those we do not know? This was actually harder in practice as I would find later ... :)

Turns out I finally did find Pierre Hermé … closed ... but 3 hours later. It was directly located across the Minelli’s I had seen on the first street I chose not to go to (as mentioned earlier). God knows us so well, and I laughed as I realized He chose to use my favorite line of shoes to get my attention! My prayers had been answered quite immediately from when I had started the search for pâtisseries, mainly Pierre Hermé, and the answer was in front of me. I just chose the answer I wanted instead of listening and trusting. He was so good though to make the best out of my wandering even though there was an easier way.

After the Mass, a choir was practicing for a concert that night and the thought to stay came to mind. So with my trusty student discount, I concluded the night with a concert at Saint-Germain-des-Près with the Chœur du King’s College de Londres (King’s College London Choir). Here’s a sampling of the concert, which was primarily sung in latin:

Wednesday I had a very productive meeting with a lovely woman from le Centre Culturel pour la Femme (the Cultural Center for Women). Our meeting was tremendously helpful, as she asked me to describe more of the project. The project and its aims are understood in Paris as une association caritative (charity association), which basically means there is no profit in the work that is done. As I described the project, the woman I spoke with had a tremendous heart for victims and families of abuse. Her breadth of knowledge was also evident concerning the issues surrounding la violence matrimonial/conjugale (matrimonial violence). It was so good to speak with someone who understood some of the challenges and complexities behind domestic abuse (called in France either la violence matrimonial/conjugale or la violence domestique). Before I left, she provided a whole range of ideas involving groups in Paris that address healthy relationships. Providence was so good to have provided such an informative conversation.

After our meeting, I found a pâtisserie where I ate a pastry called the Paris-Brest. The best part of this pastry was its surprising lightness, even the peanut-buttery crème was smooth and light.


I also stopped into a nearby church called Saint-Jean-Baptiste de Grenelle for some reflection from the meeting and then found a boulangerie with a line -- always a good thing! Afterwards, I went to le Quartier Latin (the Latin Quarter, 5ème) and visited La Sorbonne because I wanted to be with other students and because I knew there would be restaurants with a student-friendly budget. I had considered studying and writing along le Panthéon if I could not find a nice café to frequent.


I enjoyed wandering le Quartier Latin finding bookstores, cinemas, inexpensive restaurants, and brasseries. The evening completed itself as I walked past a sign where there was Eucharistic Adoration. I thought this was enough and then found out there was also Mass, but God had more joy in store! A community known as les Sœurs de L’Adoration réparatrice (Sisters of the Adoration restorative … I don’t know how to correctly place the words here) has Eucharistic Adoration and Mass for their community and the public. In addition to this, the Sisters pray the Liturgy of the Hours and pray with the public – making the hymnals and the Liturgy of the Hours available to those who want to participate. The Sisters pray one part of the psalmody and then it exchanges with the other participants and the recitation goes back and forth. This is what With Mercy and Justice will be incorporating – that is, praying and teaching others how to pray the Liturgy of the Hours. It was so encouraging and inspiring to see how many people were participating and the rhythm of the prayer shared between the Sisters and the public. Being present here helped me to think of ideas of how to incorporate this into the project in terms of how the Sisters took parts of the Hours, the hymn that was chosen, how the Eucharist was present … it was more than I could have asked for. And all this for ditching my plans and the guide!

When I arrived home, I ate a pâtisserie called la Provençale. Of all the desserts I have had so far, this seems to be the most complicated, as it had 5 layers. The dessert had a thin layer of chocolate, topped with another layer that had crisps, nuts, and a ganache, topped with a floury layer, topped with an apricot-flavored layer, topped with a white mousse, and dusted with a white chocolate powder. It was amazing.

Thursday I walked along the Seine river and had lunch overlooking the river.



I spent the whole day at le Musée D’Orsay (Orsay Museum) enjoying the Impressionist paintings. This is my favorite museum in Paris. It’s hard to believe you could spend the entire day at a museum; but if you’ve visited le Musée D’Orsay, it’s not so difficult to understand why. For the evening, I met up with a family friend’s … brother. It was all good; and he was very warm, kind, and knowledgeable. We talked about politics, religion, family, traveling, the project, and food over a wonderful meal at a Moroccan restaurant (404 Restaurant Familial, 69 rue des Gravilliers, 3ème) with pâtisseries orientelles afterwards.

Friday was spent looking for more pâtisseries; and the first one on the mission was Ladurée (16 rue de Royale, 8ème), known for their macarons.



They had macarons, but the presentation of their pâtisseries was so beautiful. Who knew you could make fruit look so beautiful?

I continued to walk through the streets and snapped photos of desserts when I ran into a woman with a bag from Pierre Hermé! What a relief! She told me where I could find the shop.

After ordering a handful, I enjoyed them at a fountain in le Jardin des Tuileries (Tuileries Garden).


It was nice to be with other parisiennes and tourists enjoying the gardens. The gardens in Paris are like a national past time for the French. You can enjoy the fountains and they have these chairs that are already ready for you to sun bathe! Either by the fountain or in the shade, people are just laying out, eyes closed, and hanging out. If it was one person, I might think they were homeless; but the number of people doing it makes it pretty evident it's a cultural thing.


Afterwards, I explored la Place de la Concorde and its fountains and obelisk. For Mass, I ended up quickly having to shift gears from a 630pm, Polish/French chapel to hoping to find any church that would celebrate Mass in French instead of Polish but at 7pm given the time crunch. I knew there was L’Église Madeline (Madeline Church) in the area but had absolutely no idea if there was a 7pm Mass available here. While on the train, I noticed there was a stop called Trinité d’Estienne d’Orves and remembered from my meeting at the Centre Culturel pour la Femme the recommendation to visit a church called L’Église Trinité. But was this even the correct stop? And if so, would they have a 7pm Mass? In meditation earlier that day in the Polish/French chapel, the words ‘Trinité,’ came very clearly to my attention. I thought … I’ll just go and either make Mass or not ... hopefully finding a church. And God was good – not only was there a church, but they had a 7pm Mass, and it was the church I was hoping to go to and find more information about their apostolate.

I realized that this L’Église Trinité was the same church that had been recommended to me before I left for this trip, and the only reason I realized this was because when I entered the church I didn’t know what to do with myself I was in awe at how beautiful the church was – the altar, an ambo with an entrance AND an exit (!), stained glass, ceiling, and mini-chapels along each side of the church. I have never seen a second level where people can walk and look down towards the congregation.


I had my first bout of doubtful thoughts earlier this day, which is why I found myself praying earlier at the Polish/French chapel. The prayer was helpful in restoring my faith that I was supposed to be in Paris and that things would take place as God knew they would. I just had to believe. I was becoming discouraged though because the past couple days I had been gathering information about pâtisseries that did not appear in my favor to actually learn from a pâtisserie, many of the shops I went to were closed, and I couldn’t find freaking Pierre Hermé. The laws here are also such that there is much preparation needed (which I hadn't prepared for) even to volunteer at any business if you are not a French citizen, without a work visa, or without a student visa for interning.

Suffice to say, I was frustrated and discouraged; but God was good and there was peace in my prayer, so I knew God would take care of it. And I just realized this writing, but the time when I left that Polish/French chapel, I ran into that woman who was carrying a Pierre Hermé bag who helped me get to the shop I couldn't find.


Even thought this seems so little, how good was He to have had that woman and me cross paths, so she could help me find the shop. He works even in the little things.

As I was leaving Trinité from Mass, I realized this was one of the churches I was to connect with. It’s one thing to talk about plans; but when God presents you with those plans in a very concrete way and confirms Himself in some way, you have a choice to make. I think this has a lot to do with our own personal vocations whatever they are. Are we going to say 'yes' or are we going to pretend we didn’t hear and just run in the other direction out of fear? I tend to be in the latter mode. Leaving I was struck with this fear and very discouraging thoughts, when I saw a chapel with the pictures of John-Paul II and Blessed Mother Teresa (two of the many inspirations for the project). So I decided to pray.


My spirit was lifted, and I was filled with hope. Those questions that came to mind were all real. But looking at their pictures what I saw was something that transcended the doubts and questions that were festering in my head. I saw a man in John-Paul II and a woman in Blessed Mother Teresa. In other words, in addition to the undeniably, extraordinary ways in which they lived, they were also completely human. We share in the same humanity, and what gave me hope was that in their humanness, they had the courage to say ‘Yes’ and to allow Christ to decide how he would transform them to be more like him, to love as he loves.

When I saw the picture of John-Paul II and Blessed Mother Teresa, I love them for their goodness and remember all that they have inspired in me and the actions of others. But the author of all of their great work is God; and when I think of them, God’s glory is so abundantly evident. They trusted in His will without knowing exactly what His will was. The hope received from prayer did not give me answers, it just gave me trust and that was sufficient.

the Merveilleux sets the Bar

Something the size of your palm, believe it or not, can be merveilleux, or marvelous. Tonight's pâtisserie was just that - the size was just enough to be filling and yet left me with a craving for more. Merveilleux, a white chocolate covered white mousse concoction, filled with hazelnut crème, decorated with 4 red, peppered maccaroons, and topped with tart berries, is one dessert I may never forget.


The merveilleux engaged a wide spectrum of tastes from subtle sweetness to salty to sour, and yet it was all balanced, as were the unusual mix of textures combined for this dessert. One taste did not overcome the other. What I'm most impressed with, however, was the mousse. I'm not normally a mousse fan, and now I know why ... It's because I haven't eaten good mousse! When you have it, you understand what the rave is about. And the presentation of this tiny dessert was beautiful.

One of the things that irks me about desserts are desserts that look pretty and yet taste pretty awful. I mean, really ... what's the point? No one buys a cake simply to look at it; they also plan on enjoying it. What I enjoy about pâtisseries is that generally they not only taste good (and are not too sweet) but the presentation is clean and thoughtful. It's the kind of dessert that makes you feel bad for eating it because you have to wreck the design of the pastry in order to enjoy it.

Today I walked through Montparnasse to visit more pâtisseries. Many boulangeries (bakeries), pâtisseries (they normally are one business), and most businesses are closed but open at the end of August. They are closed because everyone is on holiday, which is kind of hilarious to think of Paris as quiet, but it is ... for now, at least. I also tried to visit Lenôtre (known for their pâtisseries) a couple blocks away, but it was closed, as was Pierre Hermé's location (known for their maccaroons). I've been told there are two other locations that will most likely be open, so I will try these.

I spent sometime walking through St. Lambert's Garden before it started to rain and then attended Mass at Paroisse Saint-Lambert. For a daily Mass, there were about 35-40 people - lots of young adults, women religious, and elderly. I talked with a server afterwards commenting there were a lot of people for a daily Mass and his response, "We have only 1 Mass on Mondays instead of 2." I just thought ... wow.

So while I'm here I'm hoping to balance a couple things. Not only am I here in hopes of learning something about pâtisseries, but I'm also hoping to explore the following areas:

• Learn more about the Green Scapular - which originated from Paris!
  
• Hear from Catholics and groups (in the Church) their thoughts on the abuse that has affected the Church in Europe and how they envision how healing can take place.
  
• Meet with NGO's or branches within the Church that address domestic abuse/sexual violence - it is my hope that With Mercy and Justice share more information about the project and provide Christian leadership formation around these issues to those who are interested in how we serve.
• Visit monasteries in the liturgical Movement since the project draws heavily from this time.
  
• The end of the trip I will be in Madrid and would like to connect with the World Youth Day organizers and NGO's who do work around issues regarding abuse and violence to see if they are interested in allowing With Mercy and Justice to facilitate workshops.
• I also have lots of reading and writing to do for the project and have brought those books for the rainy days :)
  

As I have been told, "That is a LOT for a little time ... and you wanna bake, too?!" I think my attitude at this point is going to be, "Yes (with hands up in the air)!" What isn't meant to happen will not come to fruition and what is will flourish. I do need to get a move on, however, for things to begin and will think about what didn't get done on the plane ride back to Chicago. For now, I anticipate a rough ride in my broken French and Spanish; but at least I get to eat pastries along the way and am not alone.

Baking for souls leads to Paris ... God is good!

In the first post, I mentioned des pâtisseries and that I would provide more explanation on this... In addition to what I mentioned in the first post, I also plan to treat this blog as a documenting of this journey. So, I include personal stories and observations.

There are bulleted ideas that affect the project and am hoping to tap into but will address these tomorrow.

So, why baking and pastries amidst such heady topics?? Well, the reason is because With Mercy and Justice will be incorporating baking into the project on a small scale. This will be done as a means to help support the project. The project does not work for money but the work cannot be done without money either. And since mostly everyone loves sweets, desserts, and chocolate, and baking is a science and art ... why not take a love for baking and actually do something constructive with it?! With Mercy and Justice has decided to BAKE -- so that we can make souls joyful through desserts and through the baking, support a project aimed at promoting healing for souls hurt by domestic abuse/ sexual violence through Christian leadership formation.

Over the past couple months, I have baked 2-3 desserts a week in an effort to improve on speed and technique. My nemesis - of which I have a love-hate relationship with - has been a sponge cake. Being a graduate student at the Liturgical Institute at the University of St. Mary of the Lake/Mundelein Seminary, has left me with no shortage of graduate students or seminarians to taste test these creations. My favorite crowds have been the Summer Session crew and this past year's Pre-Theology seminarians ... never have I seen such eyes light up at the sight of dessert and they did provide me with good feedback.

Baking and soliciting taste testers from my networks, I caught the attention of one of the project's benefactors who offered to fly me to Paris to learn how to make des pâtisseries (french pastries), and I would be responsible for everything else once in Paris.

The trip was postponed, however, as all my leads for accommodations fell through, and I began to think I was not supposed to go on this trip. But in the last week, I came across appartager.com - a French resource for finding roommates all across France and allows you to correspond with potential flatmates. When I left for Paris last Friday, I had 10 leads and no set place of where I'd be living but I just believed I was supposed to go and that the Lord would provide. Why would he provide the means of getting to Paris only to leave me in the streets?! Ce n'est pas possible (That's not possible!) !

The 10 I started with in Chicago ended with 3 leads by the time I left Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris; and while I did not believe I would be without a bed that night, I'd be lying if I didn't say my heart was pounding as I headed into Paris. My faith was definitely shaken, and I was begging the Lord that one of the 3 would just fit.

I had nothing to worry about because he already knew where I was staying, and he not only met what I was hoping for (safe and secure accommodations) but he exceeded them in what he provided. My flat is in the 15 ème arrondisement, which is Montparnasse, and it's a nice balance of local life, elderly, families, young adults, traditional, and new. My church for the next month is also within walking distance!

Many thanks to our Lord for giving me a dedicated mother. I flew United and she came with me to Paris! Who does that? She works for United, wasn't working, and wanted to help me get settled in. To be honest, apartment shopping is better done with 2 in a foreign land -- even if it is Paris, and I can't imagine it being with anyone else but my mother. We spent sometime getting acquainted with the arrondisement visiting pâtisseries and fromageries (cheese stores), enjoyed la Tour Eiffel sparkle, and tomorrow she is off to Chicago.

Thus far, the French are as I remember them: lovely and generous. If you are kind, you will be received kindly and will be responded to with kindness. This has always been my experience with the French. Four encounters come to mind.

For our delicious lunch yesterday I ate a home-made pizza with Roquefort cheese, mozzarella, and du chevre (goat) cheese at Pasta Café, Pasta Cherie Bar (187 Rue de Vaugirard, 15ème arrondisement, 75015). It was ridiculously good, and I have high pizza standards since I'm from Chicago. My mother and I were speaking to the owner, Mohammed, who upon finding out my pastry mission gave me an overview of THE pâtisseries I must visit. He then expanded to describing which areas I would most likely not find the best pâtisseries and his explanation behind this which made perfect sense. His insight helped me narrow down my targeted arrondisement area by half. Overall, it was good to talk with an entreprenuer and to hear how he and his wife, Meily, as a young couple have been making it in Paris and love what they do. It showed in the food we ate and the hospitality we received.

Sandrine I think is going to be a good friend here in Paris. She showed me the flat I am currently staying in and insists on taking me to the good pâtisseries in Montparnasse and other noteworthy parts of her arrondisement. She is a good friend of the owner of the flat and discussed at length how french women help other french women in need. That it is natural for them, even helping to take care of one another's children when needed. Sandrine also wants to help me learn French, which is something I love about the French. They are more than willing to be patient with you and teach you their beautiful language because they want you to be able to speak it. I am so thankful for those encounters when I've said something incorrectly, and the French have corrected me with patience.

The Haagen Dazs Ice Cream Server is the third individual of note. I was ordering the vanille crème brownie ice cream, and I asked her how to say it in french. Despite the crazy line, she repeated it and waited for me to recite until I got it with the proper accent. It was as if we were in class practicing. What struck me was that she wanted me to get it and smiled when I did.

Last but not least, I met Annie today at Paroisse Saint-Lambert de Vaugirard for the young adult Mass. It wasn't like a 9 o'clock mass, but it was still sufficiently attended. And I was encouraged because I was around other young adult, Catholics in jeans and some couples and families. The scene reminded me a little of St. Clement's Parish. I wasn't expecting people to kneel during the Eucharistic Prayer because there were no kneelers, but a lot of people did. There was a woman in front of me I saw reading from a French Magnificat, and I realized I had to buy one because I couldn't totally understand the Mass. I asked her after Mass where I could find a Catholic book store; and from that point on, we talked for two hours in French (I had prayed for help to practice my French, and she was my practice, indeed!) about French Catholics, the sacraments, concerns within the church ... I wish I had had a bottle of wine and glasses, we should have just sat on the church steps the conversation was so interesting! What saddened her most was the state of Catholicism in France. I was mostly touched by how she talked about Eucharistic Adoration and her spirituality. I realize she was just one person; but indeed, her soul was passionate and alive for the Lord and I was so happy to hear her reflections. We will either meet up tomorrow after Mass or at la Chappe Médaille Miraculeuse (Miraculous Medal Chapel) on Sunday to meet up with her friends. I hope it happens ...

I've had the blessing to come to Paris in the past, so I feel fairly comfortable with the public transportation and the major sites to see. So, as crazy as this sounds, the first day in Paris I went to Monoprix :) which is kind of like a Super Target, a grocery store/store. I wanted to check out what kind of ingredients they have for baking. I've never seen in one location so many brands for chocolate to be made for baking/pastries - so impressed I had to take a photo. Imagine seeing someone taking a picture of items for sale in a Super Target - yeah, I looked a little silly... But if this doesn't say something about the pâtisserie culture here, I don't know what does.

The plan is to survey and taste the various pâtisseries before I ask to volunteer :) I don't know how I will get into a pâtisserie at this point to learn what I can within the time I'm here, but God will provide a way if it's meant to be. Here's the second pâtisserie I ate on Sunday. It was a marshmallowy crème brûlée filled with pears.


On a last note, I am thankful for this journey, which has just begun, and God. I do not actually know how it will turn out, that I will come back knowing anything intricate beyond the sponge cake recipe, that I will get to visit any of the monasteries within the liturgical Movement, that I will be able to know more french, etc. All I know is I believe I am supposed to be here for the project and am open to whatever God wants of this and me ... I almost think it's a pilgrimage. About 3 people told me I would come back married, which I think is hilarious. If I do :) I hope it is in a spiritual sense and only with Christ. If anything, this is the trip for that kind of thing to happen ... complete dependence and openness because at this point, it's just me ... him and Paris. If it was just me, I'd be in trouble but with him ... it will be good and everything will be molded into place.